New Habit

I’ve developed a new habit this winter.

Whenever I check the mail or take out the garbage, I do it barefoot.
And this is Norway people, it’s getting cold these days.
Actually today was kind of warm, but it’ll get colder, I’m sure.
It feels pretty good, because by the time I get to the road my feet are pretty much numb, and I can’t feel the hard gravel on our driveway.
So by the time I get back to the house my feet are cold and hard, like fleshy rocks.
If you live in a cold country, you should totally try it. Don’t run, just walk.

I know some people like to swim in icy water and then run into a sauna. I’ve never done that, and I’m not crazy enough to do it either (Not yet anyway).

In other news, I need to start thinking about x-mas presents. Ah, that time of the year again. I just hope my money will hold up, still waiting for that first paycheck.
Not a lot of old ladies to rob these days.

Oh, and I got my portfolio up and running. It’s still an infant, so I’ll be improving it progressively. Also I’m not a webdesigner, so there you go.
So check it out of you please at http://diamondroll.com


rome, on the hange

After an arduous flight from the Melbournes all the way to Norway, I am finally home.
It was a good 10 months in Australia and Deakin Uni. All the people I met, all the things I learned and all the microwavable rice I ate.
Now that me and my roomates are in fact, no longer roomates, I can finally say: Øyvind, sorry about what I did to your toothbrush. I tought you were gonna throw it out anyway.

Anyway, moving along.
The flight! Yes, what a flight it was.7 hours from Melbourne to Singapore, then another 14 hours from there to London. The whole time I regretted my decision to wear a suit while travelling.

As usual, the Singapore Airlines stewardesses were deliciously delightful. That airline probably has the best service I’ve had on plane, but when you think about it they sort of have to when you’re flying for 14 hours. I applaud them for pulling it off though, I can only imagine how many assgrabs and lustfull gazes they get in one flight. Maybe they’re hypnotised before every flight. Or just robots. If they are robots, I would very much like to order one. (If a manufacturer is reading this, please contact me ASAP)


There are a few things though, that I’ve never been able to handle on planes. One of them is sleeping, and the other is taking a dump on plane toilets. But that’s a completely different story.

The closest thing to sleep I could get was a half-daze shrouded in a sort of suspended limbo between extreme bodily discomfort and great irritation from other passengers. Truly, it’s a dreadful experience.

Being home again is weird, to say the least. I was at the store today and hearing Norwegian everywhere almost made me miss Australian English. I used to hate Australian English, it sounds like they’re always excited and struggling to speak. I don’t know man, I’m not a linguist.
I was gonna ask a guy at the store where they had DVD racks, and in that short sentence I almost broke to English five or so times. I’m considering to just continue speaking English, why not ? It’s fun. And it’ll make me seem more interesting. Especially if I throw some accent in there, maybe Chinese. How often do you see a halfrican speaking English with a Chinese accent ?
See, I got an interesting story right there.

So, back to DVDs.  I’ve been organising my films all day. I still need to buy some new racks, cause I don’t have enough. Honestly I think I have too many movies. Along with my TV and consoles/stereo they’re occupying my whole wall. And it’s not a small wall, I don’t live in a closet.
See, I had packed down all my movies before I left so people wouldn’t go into my room and steal borrow them. Therefore, I had to unpack them when I got home and organise them all over again, along with the new movies I bought in Australia, which was 50 or so.
What annoys me is that I still can’t find my copy of Kung Fu Hustle. It needs to be right there next to Shaolin Soccer, you can’t just have on of them! The other one will get lonely.
One thing I will greatly miss about The Australias, is JB-HIFI. With their low low prices on movies and whatnot. They’re more expensive here, and that makes me sad.
Oh, and I will also miss my friends. I reckon. Lovely people. The peacock house who hauled away all our extra crap, good people. If they only knew of the atrocious things I have done in that chair. If it could speak, I’m sure it would just scream in horror. Sort of shell shocked, in perpetual post traumatic stress.

Anyway, thanks for reading.
I would like to end this post in a contest, whoever can guess when this photo was taken will win a SPECIAL PRIZE (it’s not a drawing of a phallus*)


*i do not guarantee that the prize is not a drawing of a phallus.


birthday karma

Yesterday was my birthday, my 22nd birthday.

I guess double-digits are somewhat of a milestone, I remember my 11th birthday vaguely. I think I got Lego’s.

At 33 I sure as hell won’t remember my 22nd because it was probably the most eventless birthday ever.

But, it was still great. Because a wondrous thing happened.

See, I decided to spend the day at school. Working on one of my last assignments for the semester. It seemed like a good idea at the time, don’t ask why.

Before I buckled down for a day of research and typing I decided of course to get some breakfast, I went to the internet café on campus and looked at the chicken baguettes. So the guy behind the counter looks at me and says “Would you like a baguette sir ?” So I said yes, I did in fact want a baguette.

He continued:

-“Chicken ?”.

-“Yes, chicken”, I replied.

– “Crispy?”



I started wondering what the hell this guy was doing, was it that obvious that I wanted a crispy roasted chicken baguette ?

I told him yes, toasted sounds good. I didn’t care anymore, I wanted to get out. I was afraid soon he would reveal a horrible secret in this string of wild but accurate guesses.

I jested nervously, like one would do; “Is it free too ?”

He looked at his co-worker and said.. “I don’t know ? Is it ?”

It turned out the whole damn place was in a good mood, and I walked out with a free baguette and chocolate muffin.

‘Twas a good day.


italian seacreature uses cpu to kill mobsters.

Hello Jesus.
Are you listening ?
Sorry for not updating in a while, I know how much you like reading my blog.
Call me sometime, and we’ll have lunch. 


Now, onward to more important things. 

We (my roomies+Christopher) visited the Melbourne Aquarium last saturday. The fish were plentifull. They even had a shark, even though they advertised it as “sharks”, they really only had the one.  It wasn’t even very big. The one we saw at St. Kilda beach was way bigger, and more awesome. After that we ate at Feddish, a nice italian restaurant.
Below is a sneak picture from the aquarium. I can’t remember what we were talking about, though judging from my posture, I just delivered a brilliant punchline. OH SNAP.


























The next day; Christopher came over, to spend a few days of what turned out to be relentless DotA.

First though, we went to a Computer Market,  they had craploads of cheap hardware and movies, games, software.
It was like christmas.
Alas, the geekyness could not last. While I was there I got a call from my old teamleader from work. She’s in Melbourne for the time being and wondered if I wanted to hang. Of course I obliged, and swiftly got the hell out of the market and hopped on the train to Melbourne city.
Basically, we went to Feddish and I had the same meal I had the day before. Their Cream Chicken Pesto Penne  is the best thing on the menu, measuring at over 20 megatons of delicious.
After that, we went to see a movie. We totally gambled when we picked a movie. 

Shinjuku Incident, a crime thriller starring Jackie Chan.
What would you expect? Jackie Chan beating the living daylight out of mobsters, sounds like a field trip to me.
But no, Jackie Chan did not flash any fly moves at all. If anything he got the crap beat out of him.
Don’t get me wrong, oh no, it was a pretty groovy flick. Imagine Scarface, with chinese people. In chinese. Taking place in Shinjuku, instead of Miami. 
The movie theatre was full of asians, so we felt fairly out of place. Especially when we didn’t understand the apparent culturally related inside jokes.

I got home later that evening, and played DotA til the birds ceased their songs.
God damn birds.  

Indeed, ’twas a blessed weekend.


PS: Here is a picture from a photobooth at the aquarium, measuring at over 20 megatons of artistic WIN.



disturbance in the kitchen


Today was quite an adventure.
We were making a salmon dinner, and had divided the different tasks among us.  Tukun is actually a chef, and can cook pretty well. He was busy chopping away at his vegetables, when I jokingly quipped “Don’t cut your finger now.”
Not even two seconds later, he damn near chops his fingertip off. 
Blood? Everywhere.
Panic? Modest.
Cursing? Plentiful.
At first we joked about it, the irony of him cutting himself right after I told him not to, ha-ha.
But then we saw how much blood there really was, and then of course the little piece of Tukun’s flesh lying on the kitchen counter.
I ran to get my first-aid kit from my room and tried to figure out how to use the vast array of bandages and linens.
I was still able to wrap up his gushing finger pretty well, while I called “000”, which is the emergency number for Australia.
Within a few minutes the ambulance arrived, and sent us to the hospital where they patched him up.
The image above depicts Tukun in the ambulance with the friendly paramedic.
I was with him the whole time, in the ambulance and at the hospital. He took it pretty well, even with all the blood and perpetual digital regurgitation and oozing.

‘Twas a blessed day indeed.


internet download limits make me sad

Hello there.
Here in Australia we have download limits on our internet subscriptions. This means that in our house, a house of 4 nerds, we can only download 60 gb a month. If you go over the limit, you pay extra per mb.


The billing period reset last friday, and I finally feel like this is a home again.
The odd thing though, was how well I worked while the internet was down. With schoolwork I mean.
We had our first week of lectures last week, and already; 3 homework assignements. I’ve finished one, and will commence the second shortly.

So much has happened, dear diary.

We picked up Resident Evil 5, as a birthday gift for Stian. He got the collectors edition, which was full of supersweet swag.

Me and Tukun have been playing it co-op. It is so cash. I don’t agree with people who say it’s racist because you mow down black people. It’s racist to zombies, not black people.
Your sidekick in the game is an African, but she honestly doesn’t look or sound anything like it. I don’t know what’s up with that.

I also bought “A Streetcar Named Desire”.
I’ve only been able to see half of it so far, because my pc’s DVD drive decided to stop reading it this morning.
The half I saw was really good, it’s so well written it busts out classic lines and memorable quotes every minute.
One of them of course being “Hey, Stella!”.

I will depart with another quote, slightly more poetic than the last one.

“All of these deaths, the long parade to the graveyard. Father, Mother…  Margaret, that dreadful way.
You just came home in time for funerals Stella. And funerals are pretty compared to death.” 


is dat sum earthquake ?

I love this country. Aside from the bushfires, heatwaves, storms and of course the earthquakes.
We were chilling out maxing, relaxing all cool, when suddenly an earthquake who was up to no good, started making trouble in my neighbourhood. 

A 4.7 earthquake that is. The whole house moved and we were pretty confused, at first we thought it was really heavy winds. Mais non.

All is well though, but I must admit I have never felt a quake like this before.


May 2018
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