rome, on the hange

After an arduous flight from the Melbournes all the way to Norway, I am finally home.
It was a good 10 months in Australia and Deakin Uni. All the people I met, all the things I learned and all the microwavable rice I ate.
Now that me and my roomates are in fact, no longer roomates, I can finally say: Øyvind, sorry about what I did to your toothbrush. I tought you were gonna throw it out anyway.

Anyway, moving along.
The flight! Yes, what a flight it was.7 hours from Melbourne to Singapore, then another 14 hours from there to London. The whole time I regretted my decision to wear a suit while travelling.

As usual, the Singapore Airlines stewardesses were deliciously delightful. That airline probably has the best service I’ve had on plane, but when you think about it they sort of have to when you’re flying for 14 hours. I applaud them for pulling it off though, I can only imagine how many assgrabs and lustfull gazes they get in one flight. Maybe they’re hypnotised before every flight. Or just robots. If they are robots, I would very much like to order one. (If a manufacturer is reading this, please contact me ASAP)

There are a few things though, that I’ve never been able to handle on planes. One of them is sleeping, and the other is taking a dump on plane toilets. But that’s a completely different story.

The closest thing to sleep I could get was a half-daze shrouded in a sort of suspended limbo between extreme bodily discomfort and great irritation from other passengers. Truly, it’s a dreadful experience.

Being home again is weird, to say the least. I was at the store today and hearing Norwegian everywhere almost made me miss Australian English. I used to hate Australian English, it sounds like they’re always excited and struggling to speak. I don’t know man, I’m not a linguist.
I was gonna ask a guy at the store where they had DVD racks, and in that short sentence I almost broke to English five or so times. I’m considering to just continue speaking English, why not ? It’s fun. And it’ll make me seem more interesting. Especially if I throw some accent in there, maybe Chinese. How often do you see a halfrican speaking English with a Chinese accent ?
See, I got an interesting story right there.

So, back to DVDs.  I’ve been organising my films all day. I still need to buy some new racks, cause I don’t have enough. Honestly I think I have too many movies. Along with my TV and consoles/stereo they’re occupying my whole wall. And it’s not a small wall, I don’t live in a closet.
See, I had packed down all my movies before I left so people wouldn’t go into my room and steal borrow them. Therefore, I had to unpack them when I got home and organise them all over again, along with the new movies I bought in Australia, which was 50 or so.
What annoys me is that I still can’t find my copy of Kung Fu Hustle. It needs to be right there next to Shaolin Soccer, you can’t just have on of them! The other one will get lonely.
One thing I will greatly miss about The Australias, is JB-HIFI. With their low low prices on movies and whatnot. They’re more expensive here, and that makes me sad.
Oh, and I will also miss my friends. I reckon. Lovely people. The peacock house who hauled away all our extra crap, good people. If they only knew of the atrocious things I have done in that chair. If it could speak, I’m sure it would just scream in horror. Sort of shell shocked, in perpetual post traumatic stress.

Anyway, thanks for reading.
I would like to end this post in a contest, whoever can guess when this photo was taken will win a SPECIAL PRIZE (it’s not a drawing of a phallus*)

*i do not guarantee that the prize is not a drawing of a phallus.

birthday karma

Yesterday was my birthday, my 22nd birthday.

I guess double-digits are somewhat of a milestone, I remember my 11th birthday vaguely. I think I got Lego’s.

At 33 I sure as hell won’t remember my 22nd because it was probably the most eventless birthday ever.

But, it was still great. Because a wondrous thing happened.

See, I decided to spend the day at school. Working on one of my last assignments for the semester. It seemed like a good idea at the time, don’t ask why.

Before I buckled down for a day of research and typing I decided of course to get some breakfast, I went to the internet café on campus and looked at the chicken baguettes. So the guy behind the counter looks at me and says “Would you like a baguette sir ?” So I said yes, I did in fact want a baguette.

He continued:

-”Chicken ?”.

-”Yes, chicken”, I replied.

- “Crispy?”

-”Sure”

-”Toasted?”

I started wondering what the hell this guy was doing, was it that obvious that I wanted a crispy roasted chicken baguette ?

I told him yes, toasted sounds good. I didn’t care anymore, I wanted to get out. I was afraid soon he would reveal a horrible secret in this string of wild but accurate guesses.

I jested nervously, like one would do; “Is it free too ?”

He looked at his co-worker and said.. “I don’t know ? Is it ?”

It turned out the whole damn place was in a good mood, and I walked out with a free baguette and chocolate muffin.

‘Twas a good day.

italian seacreature uses cpu to kill mobsters.

Hello Jesus.
Are you listening ?
Sorry for not updating in a while, I know how much you like reading my blog.
Call me sometime, and we’ll have lunch. 

 

Now, onward to more important things. 

We (my roomies+Christopher) visited the Melbourne Aquarium last saturday. The fish were plentifull. They even had a shark, even though they advertised it as “sharks”, they really only had the one.  It wasn’t even very big. The one we saw at St. Kilda beach was way bigger, and more awesome. After that we ate at Feddish, a nice italian restaurant.
Below is a sneak picture from the aquarium. I can’t remember what we were talking about, though judging from my posture, I just delivered a brilliant punchline. OH SNAP.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The next day; Christopher came over, to spend a few days of what turned out to be relentless DotA.

First though, we went to a Computer Market,  they had craploads of cheap hardware and movies, games, software.
It was like christmas.
Alas, the geekyness could not last. While I was there I got a call from my old teamleader from work. She’s in Melbourne for the time being and wondered if I wanted to hang. Of course I obliged, and swiftly got the hell out of the market and hopped on the train to Melbourne city.
Basically, we went to Feddish and I had the same meal I had the day before. Their Cream Chicken Pesto Penne  is the best thing on the menu, measuring at over 20 megatons of delicious.
After that, we went to see a movie. We totally gambled when we picked a movie. 

Shinjuku Incident, a crime thriller starring Jackie Chan.
What would you expect? Jackie Chan beating the living daylight out of mobsters, sounds like a field trip to me.
But no, Jackie Chan did not flash any fly moves at all. If anything he got the crap beat out of him.
Don’t get me wrong, oh no, it was a pretty groovy flick. Imagine Scarface, with chinese people. In chinese. Taking place in Shinjuku, instead of Miami. 
The movie theatre was full of asians, so we felt fairly out of place. Especially when we didn’t understand the apparent culturally related inside jokes.

I got home later that evening, and played DotA til the birds ceased their songs.
God damn birds.  

Indeed, ’twas a blessed weekend.

 

PS: Here is a picture from a photobooth at the aquarium, measuring at over 20 megatons of artistic WIN.

“I work alone, understand? Alone”

When I finally acquired this holy grail, my shangri-la. Indeed the promised land.

My Léon / Lennon sunglasses.
For years I’ve been searching, and finally they are in my grasp.

I ordered them online from anysunglasses.com. Two of them. Finally I’ll look as Jean Reno-y as I feel.

how to properly protect yourself from spiders

Bobbleheads on the headboard of your bed, armed with various futuristic weaponry.

I bought the Master Chief bobblehead some days ago, and it’s just one of the many novelty items to spend money on in this fine country.

In semi-related news,  I bought some nice clothes at the Salvation Army, who knew looking so good could be so affordable ?

that’s some serious lack of internet

So.
Yeah. This is awkward. Long time no speak.
Since last time I (and we) have found a house, for living in.
As well as acquired  a TV, internet, and other important things.
The house is nice, and big, almost too big if you think about it.

I had gone a long time without internet and TV, and honestly felt out of touch with the world. No more internetcafes for me I guess. Huzzah. As an indicator of how long I’ve been gone, my Google Reader had 972 unread items.  Thank you Kotaku!

 

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In  unrelated news; Australian TV is awesome, we get the Comedy channel, it’s all comedy. Sitcoms and standup. Arguably the best idea anyone ever had.

In a week, school starts.
Horay for school? Only time will tell.

a song of pores

Right now, at this very moment,  I am in Singapore. A brief 3 day stop before going on to Australia.

The flight was pretty fine and painless, I quickly fell for the flight attendants who were all very very pretty.
I spent most of the time watching movies, pretending to be interested in what Stian had to say, and listening to music.
A 12 hour flight doesn’t have to be that bad really. 
The airport in Singapore was cool, they had plants inside the terminal. Huge palm trees even, inside !

We were picked up by Uncle Singapore. His real name is Yngvar, but he’s John-Sverre’s uncle, and lives in Singapore so… Uncle Singapore then.
Later that day we went for a BBQ at his place. They had these delicious meatsticks that surely must have been marinated in Unicorn Tears, or Angel Blood. I’m honestly not sure but they were damn good. 
We also went sightseeing, and saw some things. It was okay, I’m not much of a sightseeing guy, it feels like forced tourism. Just doesn’t feel natural.

In related news; My mind was nearly shattered by the jetlag. I could swear we’ve been here for days, but it’s still only our second day. If I dont get used to it soon, I will surely perish under the mental strain. Although thanks to my good sleep last night I think I’ll be quite fine.

So far my impression of this country is awesome, they have vanilla coke. A delicious, misunderstood drink I never thought I’d see again. The asian channels on TV air crazy tv-shows and soap operas. You haven’t heard anything until you’ve heard a japanese lamentation. The ladies here are also exquisite, at atleast one occasion I have had to tape my eyelids shut to not lose what I have left of my sanity.  

And now, for your enjoyment; a photograph of the guys. Left to right; Stian, John-Sverre and Tukun.

unemployed turkey kills bachelorette with suitcase

A few days ago I had my last day of work. It was sad, so sad. It’s a sad sad situation. 
When someone quits, they usually hang their badge up on the wall. Kind of like a shrine to fallen comrades, or deserters. Which I guess is more appropriate, since very few people actually die at that job.

As I’ve said before the people who work there are a bunch of cool cats. In fact so cool, they gave me cake. Which we all ate to the delight of our digestive systems. We had a slightly longer break, and tok the time to ponder on how the Bachelor would be if all the contestants were crackwhores.  The conversation drifted on towards other crazy, yet brilliant, ideas. But that’s for another day. (Battle Royal with nymphomaniacs anyone?)

I can’t keep myself from wondering everyday; “How did the guys at work do today? Hm..”
They’ll have to keep me updated, if I’m expected to get any sleep at night.

____

In other news, we had a family dinner tonight. I ordered the BBQ’d Turkey. It was damn good.  I’m going to try to cut back on meat this year. Unless of course the meat in question is incredibly delicious.

If someone said to me; “I am going to kill you, but from your flesh I will conjure the most delicious meal ever known to man”, I would probably let him. Take that vegetarians. 

____

In other other news (I think this is an indicator of me not updating often enough), I’m pretty much done packing. Just need to edit my suitcase; removing some things, adding some more. I think I need to ditch some of my trousers, I don’t think i’ll need all 5. 11 t-shirts might also be too much. It’s hard to imagine what you’ll need for a whole year.

A little something on compulsive hoarding

I am really really bad at getting rid of things. Some people are just like that, I cant throw stuff out.
I always think I’ll have some use for it in the future.
I’ve been cleaning out my room the past few days, packing some stuff. I honestly think half of my room’s space is taken up by junk.

Did I really say junk? No, what I really meant was… Treasure. 

My greatest treasure is probably my old schoolstuff. I have kept most of my notes, tests and pretty much anything else I was ever graded on. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Neatly collected in a series of binders. These ones ranging from the 8th to 13th grade. There is more, chucked away in my closet in huge bags. I really need to organize these.  It was fun, almost eerie to see stuff I had written years ago, so many tests failed.. so many aced. 

Digging deeper into the cluttered abyss I found stuff like comic books, old games and systems.  It’s a nostalgic trip down memory lane.

Other things I found were:
-And old collection of dice
-Pogs
-Pokemon cards
-And old sample bag of coffee (which I’ve kept for some reason, and I don’t intend to throw away)
-All my report cards
-Every issue of Norw. PlayStation Magazine. (and most of the PS2 magazines) 
-Lots of pc peripherals (most of them not working)

The list goes on and on into the obscure, will it ever end? 
In other, not so related, news. I got me some new sneakers today.
And I made some fanart to celebrate.

ding to the world

Looks like we’re about to ding 2009.
Good lord, 1999 doesn’t seem so distant.

Let’s look back shall we.

The Matrix was released in theatres (yeah, seems like yesterday doesn’t it?)
And so was Star Wars Ep. 1 (I guess we’re all still trying to forget about that one)
The Sega Dreamcast was released in EU and US.
Family Guy premiered on Fox. (the first season sucked)

I could go on and on. 10 years ago on this day I was in some hellhole in Tijuana doing coke off some crossdressing hooker.

Seriously though, I believe I’ve managed to uphold last year’s new years resolution. 

This years resolution will be hard to define, as I well spend most of this year in some hellhole in Australia doing coke off some crossdressing hooker.
I’ll try to make new friends, be they hookers or not.

Nevertheless, here’s hoping for survival and upholding sanity, for a new year.