birthday karma

Yesterday was my birthday, my 22nd birthday.

I guess double-digits are somewhat of a milestone, I remember my 11th birthday vaguely. I think I got Lego’s.

At 33 I sure as hell won’t remember my 22nd because it was probably the most eventless birthday ever.

But, it was still great. Because a wondrous thing happened.

See, I decided to spend the day at school. Working on one of my last assignments for the semester. It seemed like a good idea at the time, don’t ask why.

Before I buckled down for a day of research and typing I decided of course to get some breakfast, I went to the internet café on campus and looked at the chicken baguettes. So the guy behind the counter looks at me and says “Would you like a baguette sir ?” So I said yes, I did in fact want a baguette.

He continued:

-”Chicken ?”.

-”Yes, chicken”, I replied.

- “Crispy?”

-”Sure”

-”Toasted?”

I started wondering what the hell this guy was doing, was it that obvious that I wanted a crispy roasted chicken baguette ?

I told him yes, toasted sounds good. I didn’t care anymore, I wanted to get out. I was afraid soon he would reveal a horrible secret in this string of wild but accurate guesses.

I jested nervously, like one would do; “Is it free too ?”

He looked at his co-worker and said.. “I don’t know ? Is it ?”

It turned out the whole damn place was in a good mood, and I walked out with a free baguette and chocolate muffin.

‘Twas a good day.

disturbance in the kitchen

Today was quite an adventure.
We were making a salmon dinner, and had divided the different tasks among us.  Tukun is actually a chef, and can cook pretty well. He was busy chopping away at his vegetables, when I jokingly quipped “Don’t cut your finger now.”
Not even two seconds later, he damn near chops his fingertip off. 
Blood? Everywhere.
Panic? Modest.
Cursing? Plentiful.
At first we joked about it, the irony of him cutting himself right after I told him not to, ha-ha.
But then we saw how much blood there really was, and then of course the little piece of Tukun’s flesh lying on the kitchen counter.
I ran to get my first-aid kit from my room and tried to figure out how to use the vast array of bandages and linens.
I was still able to wrap up his gushing finger pretty well, while I called “000″, which is the emergency number for Australia.
Within a few minutes the ambulance arrived, and sent us to the hospital where they patched him up.
The image above depicts Tukun in the ambulance with the friendly paramedic.
I was with him the whole time, in the ambulance and at the hospital. He took it pretty well, even with all the blood and perpetual digital regurgitation and oozing.

‘Twas a blessed day indeed.

chickens are people too

I like chicken. It tastes good, but you can’t taste the horrible beating some chickens endure to reach the final destination of delicious cuisine. 

http://www.kentuckyfriedcruelty.com/

Nom nom nom of evil.

unemployed turkey kills bachelorette with suitcase

A few days ago I had my last day of work. It was sad, so sad. It’s a sad sad situation. 
When someone quits, they usually hang their badge up on the wall. Kind of like a shrine to fallen comrades, or deserters. Which I guess is more appropriate, since very few people actually die at that job.

As I’ve said before the people who work there are a bunch of cool cats. In fact so cool, they gave me cake. Which we all ate to the delight of our digestive systems. We had a slightly longer break, and tok the time to ponder on how the Bachelor would be if all the contestants were crackwhores.  The conversation drifted on towards other crazy, yet brilliant, ideas. But that’s for another day. (Battle Royal with nymphomaniacs anyone?)

I can’t keep myself from wondering everyday; “How did the guys at work do today? Hm..”
They’ll have to keep me updated, if I’m expected to get any sleep at night.

____

In other news, we had a family dinner tonight. I ordered the BBQ’d Turkey. It was damn good.  I’m going to try to cut back on meat this year. Unless of course the meat in question is incredibly delicious.

If someone said to me; “I am going to kill you, but from your flesh I will conjure the most delicious meal ever known to man”, I would probably let him. Take that vegetarians. 

____

In other other news (I think this is an indicator of me not updating often enough), I’m pretty much done packing. Just need to edit my suitcase; removing some things, adding some more. I think I need to ditch some of my trousers, I don’t think i’ll need all 5. 11 t-shirts might also be too much. It’s hard to imagine what you’ll need for a whole year.

i believe a swag report is in order

‘Tis xmas, and happy holidays to you and you and you.

It was a good one indeed, I ate so much I honestly began to worry for my wellbeing.
During every festive meal me and my brother compete at who can eat the most, measured by number of plates. I won this time, at 2 and a half. I topped it off with two slices of cake. I won alright.. but at what price? I like to think it was worth it, to send my brother down the spiral of shame, fueled by his crushing defeat. 

What other part of xmas is important? 
Jesus? Hell no.
It’s the swag. Or loot if you will. And this years outcome? Purple.

Presenting X-Mas swag report of 2008:

Wacom Bamboo Drawing tablet.

Olympus Digital Camera

Charles Dickens Collection DVD

Documentary on the Norwegian Resistance during WW2

Darth Vader Bobble-Head

The Game, by Neil Strauss

A wallet type-dealy

A dragon type statue dealy

After Eight

Cash

Additional notes;
The bobble-head situaton was pretty funny, I bought my brother the same thing. Although I got him a Clone Trooper, and he got me a Darth Vader.
After Eight is something I get every year from my mother, probably for as far back as I can remember. To me, After Eight smells like x-mas.

As a little treat for my faithful reader (non plural intended), a drawing I did with my Wacom tablet. 

 

 

perfection defined?

I have seen the end. The end of all beings, the end of all suffering and ultimately . . the end of all joy.

Last night I had a dream, there were many things going on.  I can’t even recall the narrative of the dream itself, the only detail I remember was eating that juicy hamburger. It wasn’t just a normal burger, it had juicy sauces and two, yes two meat patties. And in the middle? A big STEAK. Tripple meat action. My god it was the biggest burger I’ve ever seen. I wasn’t the only person eating there, everyone was consuming some sort of otherworldly adaption of their favorite food. Lasagna, spaghetti, pies. . . each of these foods at their highest point of evolution, perfected by some celestial being.
I’m sure my cries of joy were audible in the silent night.
When I suddenly awoke all I could do was realize what a cold and dark place the real world is, without the shining beacon of hope. Juicy meaty hope.
I sat in my bed for hours and cried . .   tears of barbeque sauce.

It’s Fauxghetti time

Sometimes i sit at home and get hungry, we all do.
But what do we do when there is no quick and easy food to eat?
Sure, there’s food in the fridge and a loaf of bread. But I dont want anything ordinary, I’ve grown tired of eggs and bread and there are not enough ingredients to make one of my famous sandwiches.
So what do I do?
I make some Fauxghetti.

Fauxghetti is much like regular spaghetti, because it has pasta in it.
But the rest of the stuff you put in there is completely up to you. Peanuts? Blueberries? Grapes? Go for it.
Pasta is one of the things we always have in the house. because my mother, she makes the best spaghetti in the world (fact).
Today i shall cook up some Fauxghetti and bring you along on this magic journey.

There are two easy steps, first; cook up some pasta of your choice.
Next; scour your fridge.
In my fridge i found ham, cheese, sosages, salami, fish (no way im putting that in my spaghetti) i also ironically found some spaghettisauce leftovers. I could actually just make authentic spaghetti using that. But that is not true to the tradition of Fauxghetti.
Since I’m going to want to eat my fauxghetti and keep it down, I’ll try not to make the ingredients too outlandish. It’s too early in the morning for blueberry spaghetti.

I went with sausages, eggs, cheese and some sort of weird Thai hotsauce I found in the back of the fridge. Also there was ketchup, but I put ketchup on everything.

I dont need to explain the process to you, as cooking all these things seperately is pretty straightforward

JUst fry it up and cook the pasta. . .

And Voila, mix it all up and proceed to eating and digesting it with your system of mighty organs.

christmas in october

If the title is any kind of indication, it was my birthday last week.

October 5th to be precise.

Every year i end up obsessing on how many people remember my birthday, even subconciously i do this.
It’s like a way to measure how many friends I have. This years outcome? Bleak.
It always surprised me how the people i least expect to remember are the ones who do.

I got a lot of congratulations on my facebook wall, but honestly that doesn’t count at all. Whoever is on my friends list and who happens to be online will see it’s my birthday.
Because of this feature my wall became somewhat bombarded with cookie cutter messages. People i haven’t spoken to in years, people i’m sure never knew when my birthday was, even people I don’t really know.

Maybe they felt obliged to congratulate me on my 21st birthday, but for what? I really hope I wont be congratulated my any strangers next year. It’s honestly very awkward.

In related news, I believe a swag report is in order.

I received an external 750gb HDD, which is much needed since my laptop is running low on space.
I also got a DVD rack, holding 96 DVDs, I’m using it for my games, but I still need a few more racks for my 30-something loose DVDs.

That is all for now. Perhaps next time i will tell you about my toenails.

I love chocolate milk

I don’t care if i’m lactose intolerant. The horrible ensuing pain and near acidic discharge is all worth it.

Drinking chocolate milk to me is like serenading a lovely woman, the poetic imagery that saturates my mind is enough to put the most spiteful beast at peace.

I can’t help but wonder though. . .

Why don’t they take it further, with the flavored milk

I’ve seen strawberry milk, but it seemed like a one time thing. I don’t think i’ve run into it more than once.

How about banana milk? I wonder how that would work. Vanilla milk crossed my mind, but i think that would just be disgusting.

Cheese milk! You know, like cheese cake. . Only milk. . No?

Beef milk, 100% cow.

Nutbutter

Get your head out of the gutter you pervert

I’m talking about something i saw at the store today

It’s called…

Cashew Peanut Butter

Now…

I read the ingredients on the back, and it doesn’t have.. alot of penutbutter, in fact i don’t think it had any at all.

It tastes just like cashews. There’s is nothing about it that reminds me of peanuts.

So why don’t they just call it Cashew butter? Does it sound weird? Not any weirder that “peanut butter”

When they make a walnut version are they gonna call it “WalnutCashewPeanutButter”?

How far will they take it?